Really, Facebook?

Really, Facebook, you want to know what’s on my mind?
The little text box on the top of the screen used to ask for a “status update.” Now it wants to know what’s on my mind. This seemingly minor change has caused a bit of a ruckus amongst my Facebook contacts and I understand why. One’s status is meant to be requested and communicated, it’s a bit more casual and distant – perhaps more appropriate for an announcement that will be sent out to hundreds of ones “friends”. Asking someone to share her thoughts feels more probing and intimate, and might even feel a bit intimidating. It certainly has made it harder for me to figure out what to type in that little box, mostly because I’m pretty sure that most people don’t want to know what is on my mind.  But perhaps we should put that little assumption to the test.  Here are some of the things that were on my mind today:

7 am:  Baby’s not awake.  That’s awesome!  Unless she’s dead.  She might be dead.  I don’t think she’s dead.  I could go check on her, but what if I wake her up?  That would suck.  I’m sure she’s not dead.  I’m going back to sleep.

9 am:  Baby just spat up.  Spitted up?  Spat up?  There’s milky cheese on her overalls.  It’s sort of falling into the little pocket on the front of her overalls.  I could get a rag, but I’m sitting on the floor next to her, and I really don’t have the energy to get up.  Maybe I could just sort of tuck the spit up into the pocket.  It’s not like she ever puts her fingers in there anyway.

11:30 am:  That woman has great toys for her kid.  That glove looks like a glove, but it’s like a book.  And a puppet.  All in one.  I wonder where you’d get something like that.  Her diamond is really sparkly.  And big.  I wonder where you get something like that.

2:30 pm:  Damn.  She really is getting a tooth.  Is she?  I think she is.  Who knew?  It’s coming out of the top, though.  I thought they usually get their first tooth on the bottom.  She’s going to look like a freak with one tooth coming out of the top. At least she wasn’t born with teeth.  I don’t think I could deal with that.

4:00 pm:  I really have to go to the bathroom.  But I need to put the groceries away, and the baby is hungry.  Damn.  Ok, I’ll put the milk and yogurt in the fridge and leave everything else on the counter, and then if I bring the baby into the bathroom with me, maybe I can keep her entertained while I go to the bathroom.  Ugh.  She’s screaming.  Maybe I can hold it?  Can I hold it?  Oooh… I don’t think I can hold it.  I’ll just sing to her.  Maybe if I sing to her while I go to the bathroom, she’ll stop screaming.  What the hell am I going to sing?

Now, I ask you, friends (Facebook or otherwise), did you really want to know all of that?  Right.  I thought not.