Who is a Rabbi? (In which I throw in my two cents.)

The New York Times ran an article today titled “Who is a Jew? Court ruling in Britain raises question.”  It tells the story of a 12 year old boy, an observant Jew, whose father is Jewish and his mother converted to Judaism.  However, because she had a “progressive conversion” (as opposed to an Orthodox one), the boy was denied admission to a Jewish high school in London, which did not consider him to be Jewish.

[Note:  Judaism traditionally defines a Jew as someone who was born to a Jewish mother, or has converted under the guidance of a Rabbi, which generally involves a mikveh (or ritual bath) witnessed by three Rabbis, and a ritual circumcision for men.]

The family sued, and lost, but the decision was overturned on appeal.  (The Supreme Court is currently considering the case, and should render a decision by the end of the year.)

The decision of the Court of Appeals was described as follows:

In an explosive decision, the court concluded that basing school admissions on a classic test of Judaism — whether one’s mother is Jewish — was by definition discriminatory. Whether the rationale was “benign or malignant, theological or supremacist,” the court wrote, “makes it no less and no more unlawful.”

The case rested on whether the school’s test of Jewishness was based on religion, which would be legal, or on race or ethnicity, which would not. The court ruled that it was an ethnic test because it concerned the status of M’s mother rather than whether M considered himself Jewish and practiced Judaism.

This article is directly relevant to me, and my family.  My father is Jewish, and my mother is not (although she has some Jewish ancestry).  My husband and I belong to a Reconstructionist synagogue, one that is decidedly, and proudly, progressive.  (Almost 30 years ago, the Reconstructionist and Reform movements in the United States decided to recognize patrilineal descent, if the child was raised in a Jewish home.  This decision has a number of benefits, but also a number of problems.  On the one hand, the number of children being born to interfaith families who identify as Jewish is increasing, presumably because their families are more welcomed in Reform and Recon synagogues.  On the other hand, there is a whole community of young Jews being raised with Jewish identities and presumed Jewish status, but who may not be recognized as Jewish in more conservative communities. )

Back to the current situation – this boy was not claiming Jewish status based on the patrilineal descent ruling.  His mother did convert to Judaism, but she do so in a liberal Jewish community, presumably under the aegis of a Rabbi who was not recognized as such by the Orthodox leaders of the school from which the boy was rejected.  Thus, the question posed by this article is not necessarily one of who is a Jew, rather the question at hand is “Who is a Rabbi?”  Who has the authority to perform conversions, thereby creating Jews?

Generally, the way it works is that Rabbis recognize conversions of their own movements, and those movements that are more conservative than theirs.  Furthermore, most Rabbis don’t accept conversions of Rabbis from more liberal, or progressive denominations.  (Please keep in mind that each Rabbi is different, and if you have specific questions, you should speak with your Rabbi directly.)

Ok, so now we get to my story, and perhaps more importantly, my opinion on the matter.  (You knew I had one, didn’t you?)  About four years ago, I started thinking seriously about converting, primarily because I knew that Josh and I were heading down the path to babyville, and as the mother, I felt like I needed to have my Jewish status figured out before we had any children.  (The thought of having to convert at all left me with a bad taste in my mouth, as I had been an active part of Jewish community, living in a Jewish home, and identifying as a Jew for several years.  More importantly, traditional conversions speak of shedding your old identity and family, and adopting a new one.  I’m proud of my mother’s family, and grateful for all of my cultural and religious backgrounds, not just the Jewish parts.  I had a hard time with the concept of rejecting any part of it, even if only by repeating traditional liturgy.  It just didn’t work for me.)  Nonetheless, I did a lot of studying, a lot of consulting, and even a bit of therapizing.  Initially I had wanted to have a conversion with three of the most conservative male rabbis I could find, even though Josh and I are not Orthodox, and unikely ever to be so.  It’s not that I have a problem with the observance – I have a problem with the values.  I don’t think I could ever be part of a community that wouldn’t offer the women, gay men, and lesbians, in my family every right, obligation, and opportunity as the straight men.  But I wanted an Orthodox conversion, if possible, because it would be more likely to be recognized in more communities.

The more I thought, and studied, and discussed, I realized that I couldn’t relegate such an important decision to the realm of vague worries about the future.  A step this meaningful had to be based in my values, and ultimately it was.  My affirmation ceremony was witnessed by three female Rabbis (including my own Rabbi) who I know and respect, not only for their incredible leadership, scholarship, and commitment to Judaism and the Jewish community, but also for their support of my process and decision.  It was a private affair, with only Josh and the Rabbis there, and it was very meaningful.  Ultimately, I’m pleased with the decision I made.  I know that it may mean that my daughter (and any other children we may have) may face the same challenges as the young man in the NY Times article, but such challenges won’t make her any less Jewish – if anything, I hope they will strengthen her sense of self, her awareness of her values, and her willingness to make difficult decisions for the right reasons.

Ok, time for my opinions.  As you read these, please bear in mind that I am still sorting things out in my mind, and I’m open to friendly feedback and opinions.  I agree with the decision made by the UK Court of Appeals that the school cannot reject the boy’s application; however, I disagree with their reasoning.   Like the Orthodox, I do not think one’s Jewish status should be based on their religious observance or involvement.  I don’t think someone is a bad Jew, less of a Jew, or not worthy of Jewish status if they don’t keep kosher, or do work on Shabbat, for example.  The thing is, I’m actually ok with traditional Jewish law about Jews being born to Jewish mothers or converting.  What I’m not ok with is the way in which those in power (religiously speaking) make decisions about who is a Rabbi worthy of performing conversions, and who isn’t.  From what I can tell, the decision is entirely political, and that’s a big problem.

Smicha, or Rabbinical ordination, should be not be given based on one’s denominational affiliation, personal connections, or level of observance.  It should be based on one’s commitment to Jewish life, Jewish education, and Jewish values.  There should be a willingness to accept Jews of different genders, sexualities, and backgrounds.  There should be a tolerance for the struggle, in the context of commitment.  Judaism isn’t about just one thing, and as much as there are those who may vehemently disagree with me, it definitely isn’t about unwavering commitment to halakha, or Jewish law.  As Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet, chairman of the Rabbinical Council of the United Synagogue was quoted in the NY Times as saying, “having a ham sandwich on the afternoon of Yom Kippur doesn’t make you less Jewish.”

In the meanwhile, I’m going to raise my daughter in a Jewish home, as part of a progressive Jewish community that challenges me to make decisions each day based on my values.  It’s not always easy, and I don’t always get it right, but it’s definitely worth the struggle.